Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
