trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize