I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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