I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
