Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
