I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
This is the high leading the old right now
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
