i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
