i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
