can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
