I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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