I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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