I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
