A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away