We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
