I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny