Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.