I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.