If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
