my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize