OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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