fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
