yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize