This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
