im so drunk with asians
where?
always
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
