I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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