before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
