I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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