It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
