What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize