She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
