i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
