The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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