Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
