he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
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It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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