why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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