if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake