Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
