do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
