I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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