someone threw a dead crab at me
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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