Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize