I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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