Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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