Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
