He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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