it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Dear god my vagina.
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