...so i touched it.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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