OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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