I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
how does that bad decision feel?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize