he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I deserve this hangover.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
