i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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