You're my little dorito
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
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