I hope mine doesn't look like that
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
