Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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