i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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