Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
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I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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