Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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