I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
