I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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