bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
