Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
