I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
