The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Randomize
