do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
