all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
