They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
