My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
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