Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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